Dr Cornelia Gibson On How Authenticity and Vulnerability Pay Off and Help You Win Personally and…

Authenticity and vulnerability can pay off and help you win both personally and professionally, mainly personally, because you will have the courage and the confidence to know what is healthy for you and to unapologetically stay away from anyone or anything that does not serve you well and/or has the potential to disturb your peace.

Being vulnerable and authentic are some of today’s popular buzzwords. It may seem counterintuitive to be vulnerable, as many of us have been taught to project an air of confidence, be a boss, and act like we know everything. In Brene Brown’s words, “vulnerability takes courage.” So is vulnerability a strength or a weakness? Can someone be authentic without being vulnerable? How can being authentic and vulnerable help someone grow both personally and professionally? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, mental health professionals and business and life coaches who can share stories and examples of “How Authenticity and Vulnerability Pay Off and Help You Win Personally and Professionally.” As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Cornelia Gibson.

Dr. Gibson has called Solano County, California home for the past 45 years. She left a 23-year career in the telecommunications industry to pursue her passion of counseling and motivating others. Dr. Gibson has a BA, MA, and Ed.D. in Counseling Psychology, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and the founder of Agape Counseling Center and Network in Fairfield, CA.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I am number 4 of 5 siblings. I lived in Richmond, CA for the first 10 years of my life until my parents divorced. My mother then moved us to Solano County, California where I have resided since then. I was a teen mother who didn’t/doesn’t fit the teen mother stereotype. I can say this with confidence as a woman with lived experience in conjunction with my educational background in psychology.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Life will bring us stressors but it doesn’t have to bring us stress, by Dr. Cornelia Gibson. Yes, I made up that quote as it resonates with me due to the challenges I have faced, all while being relatively free from stress.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Yes, I would recommend my novel, Surviving Broken Promises. I write about real life events while focusing on thriving and surviving in both a serious and humorous way. Read it for yourself, it won’t disappoint, that’s a promise.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does being authentic mean?

Being authentic is to be consciously willing to share the good, the bad, and the ugly as it relates to self. In other words, it is to own one’s behaviors and actions independent of an audience.

What does being vulnerable mean? Can you explain?

Being vulnerable is having confidence that allows one to be courageous to the point of sharing their good, bad, and ugly with others.

What are the positive aspects of being authentic and vulnerable?

Let’s start with a very basic difference between authenticity and vulnerability. Authenticity in the willingness to share whereas vulnerability takes it a step further. Vulnerability requires the actual sharing of oneself to include strengths as well as weaknesses.

Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

I am a marriage and family therapist in which I provide information and education on the topics of authenticity and vulnerability nearly every day. For the purpose of this interview, I will use myself to provide an example. Keep in mind that in my line of work we are taught to talk less about ourself and only share information when it will be helpful for our clients. Even then we have the choice to share or not. I generally lean towards not sharing.

I consider myself to be very authentic most if not all the time. The only time I am not my authentic self is when doing so would not be helpful to my client. For example, I do not believe in abortion. However, when I have worked with clients facing a decision to get an abortion or not, I have often been asked my personal opinion. I would never share my personal opinion with a client because it may or may not be helpful. I have worked with many clients who have decided to get an abortion and they never knew my views on the topic. This allowed me in a sense to be authentically a marriage and family therapist, being supportive of my clients while keeping my personal views to myself.

In all aspects of my personal life, I consider myself to be 100% authentic when it comes to the willingness to share my experiences. I also consider myself to be 100% vulnerable when I choose to do so. A very important aspect of being confident and courageous in sharing is to know that I have the choice to be vulnerable when I deem it appropriate and healthy for me. Being vulnerable does not mean that I must share such sensitive information with everyone. Being confident and courageous allows me to tell people that my personal life is none of their business or to simply say that I am not willing to share the information.

Are there negative aspects to authenticity and vulnerability? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

I think there are negative aspects of both. There are negative aspects of being authentic when people believe that being authentic is to be free to share their thoughts and opinions of others. I think of authenticity as inward focused rather than a license to be negative or mean towards others. Being vulnerable can be negative when people choose to be vulnerable around people who are not worthy. If someone has been identified as untrustworthy, it is probably a good idea not to share such personal information. Again, being vulnerable is a choice to share or not to share.

There are times when people may or may not be able to tell if someone is trustworthy. When this happens, it is totally okay to share if the person sharing is mentally able to handle feedback or consequences they were not expecting.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from being authentic and vulnerable?

Lack of trust in the other person are common barriers to people being authentic and vulnerable. However, I am of the belief that the main barrier to achieving 100% authenticity and vulnerability is the lack of confidence in oneself.

What are five ways that being authentic and vulnerable pay off, and help you win, both personally and professionally?

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

God has inspired me to develop a made for television, self-contained reality project, in which the purpose is to help families on a large scale overcome dysfunction. It is the hopes that dysfunction and/or being stuck will lead to forgiveness. I need someone, a company, producer, etc. to partner with me to get it off the ground so these families can be mended sooner rather than later. Thanks for asking the question.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why?

Maybe we can tag them and see what happens! That would absolutely be Oprah Winfrey or Tyler Perry. Oh, but you said one person. That would have to be Oprah Winfrey but for the same reason I would have chosen Tyler Perry. They have both inspired me to follow my dreams and live my life with faith, passion, purpose, authenticity, and vulnerability. God already has a plan for the project He has chosen me to be His vessel, while blessing people on a large scale beyond my wildest dreams. I believe that families are waiting on this project to get up and running. Anyone who meets with me will for sure see that if nothing else, I am authentic and willing to be vulnerable for the purpose of blessing others.

How can our readers follow you online?

DrCornelia on Twitter and Facebook

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!