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The Great Tragedy

Matthew Wurm

The day was warm as the sun shined so brightly down upon us. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore rung in my ear. Peace. As I looked around the beach I saw beauty and joy. Children laughed as they ran into the water, only to immediately run back to shore. I laid next to my best friend, the person who truly gave me the most joy in life. Her and I sat at our little piece of paradise, unaware of the horrors that crept ever closer to us. We shared a blanket, since I once again had forgotten to bring one of my own. Among our encampment was a cooler filled with waters, a pink cardboard box that contained delectable cupcakes from our favorite cupcake shop, and our true treasure; a Target bag that contained four breakfast sliders. These sliders were made with scrambled eggs, sautéed onion, grilled chicken, bacon, and gouda cheese on a pretzel roll. The sliders were savory and complex, each ingredient came together in a harmonious orchestra of flavor; each bite bringing together the complexity of gouda with the salty and crunchy bacon; chicken which helped the sandwich feel hearty, and perfectly cooked scrambled eggs all enveloped in a beautiful pretzel roll. We each picked up one of our two sliders and ate them as we simply talked and watched the waves. It was nothing short of beautiful. A wonderful moment enveloped in my memory. We were happy, we had everything we wanted right before us.

As we looked out to the waves, we heard the faint sound of a siren beckoning us ever closer; and no, it was not Starbucks; we had already bought drinks earlier and had just finished them with our sliders. The ocean was the siren we sought. We put our remaining two sliders inside our Target bag, put the opening under the box of cupcakes, laid part of the blanket on top of the food, and the cooler on top of the blanket. We had an impenetrable fort of protection for our golden sliders. We left our encampment and walked together along the shoreline, laughing and having a simply perfect time together. I looked at her and thought that things could not get any better; and they truly could not. For disaster was upon us. I looked back towards our fort of delicious food to see that AN ENEMY WAS INVADING OUR HALLOWED GROUND. A ravenous pack of seagulls had descended upon our food and was doing everything they could to take what was ours BY RIGHT. I ran back to defend our fort, only to discover that the walls had been breached. The blanket lay in shambles, thrown about violently among the sand. The cooler had been thrown to the side and the beloved cupcake box had a gaping hole in it. That is when I saw it. The Target bag lay there, EMPTY. The plastic wrap and aluminum foil that enveloped the sliders lay there, lifeless. The sliders were gone. GONE. In their place lay the fading memory of my beloved sliders.

I stood there, motionless. The tragedy before me more than I could bear. My best friend came alongside me as we mourned our loss. We looked around us and saw the disgusting truth around us. Pieces of our sliders lay around the beach, scattered as far as the eye could see. The day became sour as we would walk along the beach, hoping to find some solace, but all we found were pieces of what was stolen from us. A small piece of chicken here, a piece of bacon fifty feet away; it was disgusting, vile, a TRAVESTY. To this day I remember the injustice that was done, I REFUSE to forget. Seagulls are the true enemy of peace, vile creatures that steal all that is good. The only consolation I had was that they were unsuccessful in stealing our cupcakes, but they did overturn the box and thereby destroyed the beautiful decorations that graced our cupcakes. They were no longer Insta-worthy, they were only delicious at this point. This tragedy has soured the beach experience for me, now I cannot look upon the beach with anything but sorrow. The moral of this story is only one simple truth: bring a safe to store your sliders, there is no other option.

Original author: Matthew Wurm
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